What Can You Use? [Mature]

[The Freakshow]

...As a dildo? As we should all know from my introductions (if you've received one), I use weird things as "dildoes" online. I was wondering what the weirdest thing you could think of as a dildo would be.

RULES

-Must put some form of dildo idea in your post. Without it, your post doesn't really count.
-You must wait for at least one other person to go before you. So alternate every one person, please!


I shall start us off with this: a hot iron poker, perfect for the sadists who are really into causing their uke some pain! (Note - might kill uke.)